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mike-tyson-evander-holyfield-ear-biteAs the World Cup continues…As we try to gain more visibility with these articles as opposed to our email database…As Hannibal Lecter is reincarnated in the form of Luis Suarez…We thought we might offer our Top 10 List of Shittiest Athletes based on one specific event, that turned they career to hell in a hand basket.  Some you will definitely remember…Some you may not!  Please thank Alex Baxter for this one too as he was pivotal in remembering some of these.




10)  We from Philly and we all like Buddy Ryan and think Kevin Gilbride is a pussy so at #10, “THE PUNCH!”




9)  We aren’t going to stay with football here the entire time but at #9 starring Woody Hayes after South Carolina’s Charlie Bauman got a little too close for comfort, “THE PUNCH TOO!”




8)  I swear this is the last football one but we can’t let Ndamukong Suh go after his incident with Evan Dietrich-Smith from the Green Bay Packers.  At #8, we affectionately calling this one, “THE MELT-DOWN!”




7)  Now they start to get a little better…You have probably seen it a thousand times today, but Luis Suarez-Lecter on Giorgio Chiellini does make it to #7 with “THE NIBBLE!” (pretty much because Suarez is the biggest pussy out of this entire crew)




6)  In one of the weirdest moments in baseball history, minor leaguer Izzy Alcantara, after being brushed back twice from YOUR Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Red Barons pitcher Blas Cedeno, turned around and karate kicked catcher Jeremy Salazar before charging the mound!  At #6, we definitely are calling this one ‘THE KICK!”




5)  Has anyone ever pulled for France to win anything in the Modern Era?!  Well, thanks to a nice little gesture to Zinedene Zidane from Italy’s Marco Martarazzi, France didn’t win the 2006 World Cup!  Apparently Zidane’s momma and sister are both prostitutes…At least according to Marco.  At #5, “THE HEADBUTT!”




4)  We did like Donald Brashear for a time while he was a Flyer…Not everyone liked him though.  Matter of fact, in the 1999-2000 season, Marty McSorley took the last shot of his NHL career and it was a stick to Brashear’s head!  Later, a British Columbia judge found Marty “guilty of assault with a deadly weapon” of which he received 18-months’ probation.  And who became the enforcer after that incident?!  You’re once Flyer goalie Garth Snow!  Coming in at #4 we affectionately refer to this as “THE SLASH!” –




3)  On July 8th, 2000, known ROID-rager Roger Clemens threw a 98-mile an hour fastball right into Mike Piazza’s noggin that cost the catcher an All-Star appearance and started a rivalry that continued into that year’s World Series Subway Series.  Between you and I, I’ve always thought Clemens was a piece of shit.  At #3 on the list, we call this one “THE KNOCKDOWN!”




2)  Who could ever forget the cannibalistic tendencies (amongst a host of other amazingly weird shit you can never expect) from former heavyweight boxer Mike Tyson!  In Tyson vs. Holyfield I that took place in Vegas at the MGM Grand in 1996, well, we all know what happened.  At #2, this does trump that pussy Suarez today and receives full endorsement as “THE BITE!”




1)  This should arguably be the most controversial moment in sports history.  On February 16, 2004, Steve Moore, while playing for the Colorado Avalanche, took a run at Markus Hasland, team captain of the Vancouver Canucks.  He checked him causing lacerations on his face, a minor concussion, and a bone chip in his elbow.  With the next game ending in a 5-5 tie without incident, it seemed like the business of retaliation in the NHL was not over.  In a game between clubs five days later, the shit-show ensued.  There were four fights in the first period and midway through the third it was a complete blowout with the Av’s leading 8-2.  Former enforcer Todd Bertuzzi, after trying to goad Moore into another fight, cold-cocked him and as he was going down, slammed his face into the ice!  The result?  Three fractured vertebrae in his neck, a grade three concussion, vertebral ligament damage, facial cuts, and amnesia.  At #1 on our list and in no way due we refer this as affectionate, we have “THE WORST!”





-Quimby, Alex, & The Green Legion

Jun 25, 2014 | Category: Green Legion News | Comments: none


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